A Short Story
I'm stuck at work dreaming of a hot summer night where a plot hatched in frenzied drunken and sex-laden planning sessions to liberate the girlz from male white corporate oppressions goes horribly awry, leading to the arraignment of not just one but two close friends who happen to be Mexican nationalists with a twisted money trail connecting them to the Masons and a small girls school in the Hamptons specializing in producing a new type of WASP distinguished by red hair, tea cup breasts, and a predilection towards sleeping with obscurely intelligent post-grads (the failure being afterwards when, consumed with a strange mix of guilt and desire, they become fully functional Republicans complete with eating disorders and alcoholism), continually stifling their weakness for the portly, mustached Hispanics of an alternate childhood where time stood still and the wine flowed freely. The show trial wasn't pretty: endless streams of vacantly beautiful women, complete with dark hose and gold jewelry, testifying against the efforts of my friends who had hoped to (kidnap being such a strong word) persuade them into joining us for wild, peyote-influenced trips into the wilds of Navajo country with the aim of combining the best genes of both worlds. They swore on the bible that any hints and allegations of proposed sexual activity lacked the choice of free will, sealing the defendant's fate in the eyes of the all-white jury. Unfortunately I, being a white male, had merely been dubbed "mentally divergent" and was committed to a psychiatrists care where I not only missed the tragic death-by-media slayings of my partners in crime but also, divorced from my rock n' roll and a woman named Diana - an extreme-before-they-were-cool snowborder - found myself driven slowly insane by the reeducation program. Sometimes I'm catch glimpses of Juan and Ruben on "Cops" being busted for possession. Occasionally, i'm still able to remember what it was like to laugh. More often, I find myself drooling, or repeating inane mantras like "early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise". However, most of the time, my brain, ravaged from the drugs and drink, barely gets me through work.